"Everyone has their triggers." I've heard, and likely said, this line many times over the years. As humans, we've all seen this - usually in others, but probably in ourselves as well. The Triggers I'm talking about here of course are those things that "set us off." That frees the Angry Mind to express itself. Often the result after experiencing a trigger, one is irrationally upset. All the below-the-surface anger they've been keeping a lid on is suddenly released in an outburst. Usually misdirected and entirely out of context. What pushed them over the edge? Their Trigger.
Triggers come in a many forms. Sometimes, they're specific people (or more generally some specific action of a specific person). Like a distant relative or an "ex", that when you happen to cross paths, triggers such anger! All the suffering that soured relationship caused and has been carried around explodes because of the encounter. Other times, triggers could be situational, like heavy traffic or getting unexpectedly stuck in a long checkout line. You're going along through a task, then your speed is suddenly disrupted and you're stuck. You've been able to keep it all together all day, just moving from one task to another, keeping yourself busy and not letting your mind focus on all that crap circling you. But then, stopped. Stuck. And the mind swirls, everything comes to the surface in a grand display. Banging on a steering wheel because your lane just started moving and a car cuts in front. Argh! Or why won't they just open another register! Huffing and puffing, mumbling under your breath, critiquing all the other customers in front of you - who clearly shouldn't be there, in that line, at that time, in front of you.
Maybe I haven't touched on a particular trigger of yours, but you get the point. So we meet the person above, and "everyone knows" that you just keep Mary away from Susan. They had a falling out, and now Susan is "a trigger" for Mary. Or we know the second guy, Rob, who you hesitate to spend time with in a car because you know traffic is "his trigger." He just gets so agitated, you don't want to risk it. But for you? Susan isn't that bad of a person. Sure, Mary and Susan don't get along, but Susan is OK. She has her circle of friends. There's nothing inherently bad about her. And traffic? Sure, it's annoying. Sometimes I end up a few minutes late for a meeting, and sometimes dinner is later than I really hoped it would be. But it's traffic, and not much I can really do it about. I'll wait it out, try to plan better next time. But again, Rob just goes crazy nuts in traffic. Yet there's nothing inherently evil about traffic. It's the occasional cost of having personal transportation.
So what does this all mean in the context of anger being in your mind? Mary get's angry with Susan. Rob gets angry about traffic. But you and I? We can deal with Susan or traffic without any anger. Which means there's nothing specific to Susan or traffic that is related to anger. If there was, we would all be angry with Susan and we'd all be angry sitting in traffic. Yet we aren't. That anger is all in the mind of the one experiencing it. They are expressing an angry mind due to a stimulus that does not inherently cause anger. Because anger doesn't exist in the world. Only in the mind. Imagine if all people could recognize their anger is theirs alone. The things they are angry with, others are not. Which means they have the capacity to also experience it without anger. Just recognize that angry mind, recognize what's causing it, replace it with a peaceful patient mind. If we could each just find that wisdom, all the anger "in the world" would just evaporate. It's not really there anyway, so why pay it any mind?
“If you try to get rid of fear and anger without knowing their meaning, they will grow stronger and return.” -- Deepak Chopra
